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New year, New Shitters

 It's been quite a while since I've updated the Showing the Shitter Blog and today had too many good stories to not.   I picked my client up and we had high hopes for the new year.  We arrive exactly on time at 11:15 for the 1st showing despite the roads still being icy and snow packed with huge ruts.  This lends more to my fantastic driving skills but I digress. We start walking up to the house and can hear barking so I know we are already dealing with some big dogs.  I am hoping that they are just in a kennel but alas as I open the door, 2 German Shepard's noses poke out as they bark what I can only assume was "get the f out of my house".  So we close the door and call the agent so I don't start off the new year with a dog bite.   The second house we are headed to is overpriced and doesn't have good curb appeal but the interior was enticing enough we put it on the list.  As we turn into the cul-de-sac there is a huge burned out RV halfway into the street

Showing the Shitter-Actual Bathrooms

I thought I would update the Showing the Shitter with some actual bathroom stories that will make you wonder why they even bother having indoor plumbing! I have some clients that are looking up to $800k and we are seeing some decent houses right now. But we have had some odd bathrooms that you would not usually associate with an $800k house.  The first was in a great neighborhood by Cherry Creek State Park.  The listing said it was 5 bedroom and 4 bathrooms.  We walked in and the 1st and 2nd floor were amazing. Really nicely updated and tasteful fixtures.  The master bathroom had a great soaking tub and the 2nd bathroom had a double sink and remodeled shower/tub.  The guest bath was cute and perfect for the main level.  Then we head to the basement.  Those that have followed this blog know that this is usually where things get dicey. We start down and I immediately know that when they say they have a finished basement, this is incorrect.  I can see that their level of finish included

Showing the Shitter-poo stories

Again, it has been quite a while since I have posted in my Showing the Shitter blog.  But I was reminded today that I have too many stories to keep them to myself.  So I thought I would do a series of actual poo houses.  I told these to some friends the other day because for some reason there is a lot of poo when it comes to Real Estate.  The 1st poo story comes from a time when you actually found foreclosures (remember those days???).  This was a historic house in a great neighborhood that had fallen on bad times.  I had an investor that was looking for some homes to flip so I thought this would be perfect.  As some of you know, all foreclosures have the water turned off and winterized and this was no different.  Most even have plastic or a sign over the toilet and sinks that say, Winterized, Do Not Use and this was no different.  What was different in this house is that someone either couldn't read or didn't care because there was a giant pile of corn poop that was sitting

Showing the Million Dollar Shitter

It's been a long time since I've done my Showing the Shitter blog so I wanted to make this a big one!  The Million Dollar Shitter!  Yes, it does exist.  You would think that people with a million dollar home would have the sense to keep it up but noooo.  The 1st story starts with a client that was looking in a great part of Denver, Hilltop/Crestmoor.  She gave me a budget of a million and I thought it would be easy.  From the outside this home looked pretty good.  Large home with tile roof on a good sized lot.  It was an estate sale so we knew it may be a little dated.  The pictures were pretty vague online so we knew it may be a little rough but opening the door was enough to make anyone take a step back outside.  The smell was the first hit that we took.  Someone had smoked for about 30 years inside and after being closed up for months, the smell multiplied.  I'm also thinking someone had left a fish rotting in the kitchen somewhere but since I couldn't see it, I ca

Showing the Shitter Part II

Most of you know that I can't tell a lie with a straight face. This is why it is especially hard to show a house with people in the home. You don't want to show too much interest or offend them if your face is scrunched up like you just ate a lemon. This is why you ALWAYS leave the home when you are the seller. That being said, showing the shitter with people inside is an art form I have not quite accomplished. The very first time this happened was with some good friends back when I started in Real Estate. The house was in a great neighborhood in their price range so we knew there was going to be some issues. What we didn't expect to find was the people inside with the issues. As we pulled up we knew this was going to be difficult because the house was completely overgrown with weeds, vines, bushes, and those trees that start as weeds. The only thing you could see was the front door but even that was blocked by a shaggy haired guy and his stringy hair girlfriend.

Showing the Shitter

I am often asked about the horrors I have seen in my real estate career. I thought I would share some with you today. I call it, showing the shitter . First off you have to understand that not everyone is looking for the perfect home. Investors usually have the stomach to take that worst house on the block and see past everything to what it could be. Notice I say usually... The worst house I was in was in an awesome neighborhood and had fantastic curb appeal. I wondered why it had been on the market for so long at that price. I didn't have to wonder long. The first thing was that the house was completely covered in ivy vines and they had even grown over the windows so the house was very dark when you walked in. There was no electricity since it was bank owned so my investor and I started to walk the house. I am not usually scared by much except spiders but the hair on the back of my neck started to stand on end. Since the house was in an eerie light we were just checking

Importance of having your house market ready and priced right

When I go to a listing appointment I am always ready for the best of times and the worst of times. I have been lucky to have my last few listings staged perfectly, clean and sellers that are ready and willing to listen. The first thing you want to do when getting a house market ready is listen to your Realtor. We know the market and what is selling so if you are unwilling to move from a high price or unwilling to do some freshening up, you shouldn't be putting your house on the market. I put a lot of time and money into my listings so I expect that you do the same. I always ask for a clean house, pets put away (I know Fido is the nicest dog when you are around but when faced with strangers entering their house, they are not the same dog), smells eliminated (cooking smells are almost as bad as smoke or pet smells), and all evidence of you...Gone! Pricing is so important when putting your house on the market. If you price too high, you will lose up to 35% of the market because